With Women's Day approaching, many people look for an answer to this question: how to make a woman they love happy? It could be a wife, a fiancee, a mom, a grandma, or a sister - we're still struggling sometimes.
I can tell you a secret, the extent of her happiness depends on what language you will use to express your love to her. And I don't mean English, Russian, or other languages. I'm talking about love languages!
If you have never heard about love languages, you can read a book by Gary Chapman (it's called The Five Love Languages) or you can search it up on Google. In two words, a person would understand your love better if you express it in their native language.
Love Language #1: Words of Affirmation
1. Compliments
Throughout the day or the week (or your whole life!) give her compliments. I don't mean repeating "you're so beautiful" every thirty minutes. I mean find something special about her and point it out. For example, thank her for a nice dinner that she made and let her know that she's an awesome cook. Or tell her that you like her new outfit because blue makes her eyes pop. Pay attention and be creative!
2. Letter
Write her a letter to express your feelings. Usually, it's easier to come up with nice words and share intimate feelings in a letter. Moreover, she can keep this letter and reread it whenever she wants to. The most important thing is to be open and honest.
3. List of Reasons
Give her 30 reasons why you love her or 25 reasons why she amazes you. You can come up with your own name and number, and there are a lot of ideas online on how to make it look nice. For example, you can write each reason on a separate piece of paper and put them in a nicely decorated jar. This way every time she reads a note she will feel like a true queen!
4. Question Game
Spend some time together asking each other questions. There are a lot of nice lists online (or I have a good one if you need it). The most important thing is to listen carefully to what she's saying. When it's your time to talk, make sure that your answers focus on her. For example, if your question is "the best day of your life", you can talk about your wedding or a day that you spent together. If you're afraid that it won't be sincere, don't be: it's not a lie, it's all about perspective!
5. Poem or Song
If you feel creative enough you can try to write a song or a poem for her. You can even use one that already exists and change the lyrics to make it personal. Remember: you don't have to be a Shakespeare or a Mozart for her to enjoy it, she will appreciate it anyway!
Love Language #2: Quality Time
I would call this language "Attention" because such people need your undivided attention directed to her alone!
6. Personal Question
If you want to make your mom or grandma happy, try asking her a personal question about her life or her past. Then listen to her very attentively with interest. Most likely you will talk for a while but she would definitely enjoy it.
7. Question Game
If you're looking for something to make your sister or friend happy, you may call it a game and come up with a whole list of questions to talk about. You can put effort into it and make question cards so that you can take one at a time and discuss different topics. Remember: your main goal is to listen to her, not talk about yourself all the time. Make sure you're interested in her answers, in her thoughts and opinions.
8. Favorite Activity
Together do something that she likes doing. You can play a board game with your sister, make dinner or go for a walk with your mom, take your wife shopping. If you're close to this person you probably know how she likes spending her time. Put your own interests aside and spend quality time together!
9. Walk
A walk together should be a separate point because unlike other activities it gives you an opportunity to focus your attention on the person and talk about anything without feeling interrogated or forced. While you're at it you can buy her an ice cream or a hot dog!
10. No-Phones Date
Whatever you decide to do together, start with setting a rule: we don't use our phones until we're done. This way you'll show her that she's more important to you than Tik-Tok and will give her a chance to enjoy your undivided attention.
Love Language #3: Gift
11. Something She Wanted
Remember something that she mentioned in a conversation or during shopping. Usually, women have things that they wouldn't afford to buy themselves but would be happy to receive as a gift. If you pay attention you will be able to know about it - this is the time to get her this gift! In the future, you can ask her to write all her "wants" in a wish list. This way you will always have gift ideas for any occasion.
12. Something Personal
I often see these kinds of gift ideas online. For example, a handmade album with her pictures. I personally received such a gift more than once and I loved it every time. If you have enough time you can order a painting of her favorite picture (or a painting by numbers) or a star map of the day when you met. These kinds of gifts may seem impractical, but it's a great keepsake.
13. Something That Reminds You of Her
You can go shopping and look around to find something that you associate with her. Make sure it's not something weird like "here's a shark pin because you look like a fish when you cry" (real story by the way), look for something sweet. A lot of it depends on the person but if you're close you'll be able to find something that she would enjoy. Someone will be happy to receive a Marvel tee-shirt, someone will love a notebook with kittens.
14. Something Personal
If you're struggling with the previous idea, try to make a basic gift personal. It's all about presentation! For example, you can give her a blanket "to keep you warm when I'm not here" or a small purse "so that you won't have to carry big bags". Be creative!
15. "Open When" kit
It could be a bunch of letters or small gifts saying "open when..." and then it's all your imagination. A herbal tea for "when you're sick", a chocolate bar for "when you're sad", cute socks for "when you're cold", a letter and a picture for "when you miss me". Depending on your relationship you can look for different ideas. This works perfectly for long-distance relationships!
Attention! People speaking this love language won't really appreciate money or gift cards - they like personal and meaningful gifts. Even a card with a few sincere sentences will be better. If you really want to give them a gift card, you can put it into a cute envelope and write a note like "buy yourself mascara so that your eyes would shine even brighter".
Love Language #4: Acts of Service
This language is the least obvious, but very important.
16. Help With Chores
It can be cleaning up, laundry, cooking, groceries, and other things that women do around the house. Keep in mind that the way you help them is important. Simply offering your help might not be enough because some women will politely deny it. Doing it without warning might not be the best idea either because there's a chance you can mess things up (especially if you've never done it before). I would come and ask them about details like "mom, do you usually use this thing to wipe the floors? I want to help you". Mom will definitely like this!
17. Something That Needs to be Done
There's a chance that mom wasn't even going to wipe the floors that day, but she definitely needs to wash the dishes after guests leave. Or your wife will definitely need to get groceries to make dinner for your family that's coming. All this you can do without asking them. I mean, if you go shopping you should probably call her and ask what exactly she needs. But you shouldn't sit and wait till she begs you to go.
Here I can also add things that you promised to do but haven't done yet - like clean up in the garage (or your room).
18. Listen to Her To-Do List
And do part of it yourself. For example, in the morning she begins telling you what she needs to do today: "drive kids to school, go shopping, wash the bathrooms..." and here you add "I will do that". Try to take some of her responsibilities and this will help her a lot.
19. At Her Service
Tell her that for a certain period of time you will be at her complete disposal and you will do whatever she tells you. I can't say for all women but I know that most of them will find something for you to do!
20. Give Her a Break
This is very relevant for new moms and moms with little children: take the kids away at least for a few hours and leave her alone to enjoy the peace and quiet. No matter what she decides to do with this time - take a nap or clean up the house - when you come back you will see a refreshed woman!
Love Language #5: Physical Touch
It's really difficult to give any recommendations concerning this love language because there are different types and forms of relationships (including physical). A lot depends on how close you are and who she is for you.
21. Mom, Grandma, Aunt
Hug her, sit next to her, talk about life. As kids we used to climb into our parents' bed - this is also a love language. Kiss her on the cheek when you see her, when you want to thank her, or for no particular reason!
22. Sister, Friend/Girlfriend
If you're a girl - hug her. You can give her a massage or braid her hair. By the way, a foot massage or a face massage is easy and very pleasant. You can watch a movie together (sitting next to each other), start a pillow fight, or have a spa night.
If you're a guy, the best thing you can do here is to be physically present. You can check out the ideas from the "quality time" section.
23. Daughter, Niece
Hugs and kisses work all the time. Depending on her age you can play different games that involve physical touch: massage, tickle fights, pretend wrestling. Babies like it when you "bite" their ears or fingers or blow on their belly. Just make sure you're being gentle and loving!
24. Wife
Here I can write a lot of things including everything mentioned above. Something that I can add here: touch her in everyday life. For example, hug her from behind when she's cooking, kiss her anytime you notice her beauty, touch her feet when you sit or eat together, hold her hand on a walk. All this may seem little, but in fact, means a lot.
25. Bonus
A bonus idea for any woman with any love language: flowers! Almost any woman would enjoy a bouquet. If you're sure that your woman won't, try food - this should be a win!
What If I Don't Know Her Love Language
If you feel confused right now and have no idea which idea you should use, I can give you two options:
1) Remember the gifts that you already gave her (and other gifts that she's received). Think what made her happier. You gave her an Apple watch but she kept talking about her brother who did her chores? This could be the "acts of service" language. Did she keep her kindergarten boyfriend's gift? She might like gifts the most. If she remembers all your compliments, she might be a "words of affirmation" girl. You can also imagine her reaction to things mentioned here and pick something that should bring her the most joy.
2) Pick an idea from each category and watch her reaction!
Remember, when it comes to giving gifts, more is better than less. Pick a few things: for example, invite her on a no-phones date and give her a gift and a letter. If you want to make your woman happy, spare no time and effort.
Why Do I Need to Do This?
Is her happiness worth all this effort? There is only one answer: it definitely is. A happy woman (and it doesn't matter if she's your mother, wife, or sister) will make your life happier! A woman was made to be a helper and your love will encourage her to love you and serve you.
Moreover, this is what the Bible says:
"Above all, keep loving one another earnestly" (1 Peter 4:8)
Loving earnestly means that you need to put effort into expressing love, which means you should make gifts, sacrifice your time, and pay attention. Not only on Women's Day and not only to women! This is God's commandment.
So, pick ideas, add yours, and make your women happy!
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